The Beauty of Cybersex? (or lack of it)

What happened to the good old days, when sex was a pleasurable experience, a physical and affection intimacy shared between couples who loved one another? Casual sex, a focus more on physical rather than emotional satisfaction, has become increasingly common nowadays. It lacks the emotional ties that come with relationships - sex without any commitment or ties may sound appealing, and for a lot of people it can seem very attractive. Because we are often brought up to see sex outside of a long term, serious relationship as wrong, we develop a sense of casual sex being more exciting, a feeling that it is naughty or an act of rebellion that can be very appealing. It is also made easier by the fact that the majority of the time both parties are aware that the sex is not going to lead to a relationship and are therefore more likely to be able to relax and just have sex for the pure pleasure of the actual act.

…. And then came the Internet. Now, you will imagine pornographic sites to be filled with men, driven by their addiction to sex, driven by the fact that they have a 24hour excess to naked women engaging in sexual intercourse with other men or women, and even more intriguing, are able to be aroused by words typed in these sexual ‘group discussions’. Believe it or not, women are also using the Internet to satisfy their sexual desires and yes, the majority of them are cybersex addicts. Like men, these women view and distribute pornographic pictures and videos, participate in sexual chat rooms and virtual locations, where their sexual activities are suggested by their viewers, and also engage in cybersex.

But we must remember that women, the more sensitive of the two species, tend to want romance and relationship out of their sexual activities, and that is why women will prefer participating in sexual chat rooms where they can relate instead of accessing pornographic sites which are more commonly used by men. The Internet has made it easier for women to seek sex online. For one, it eliminates metacommunication cues such as tone, facial expression, and body language. Secondly, it allows others to hide personal information like their age and they can now exert their power both sexually and relationally and turn themselves into another person, altogether.

So to what extent is sex in cyberspace safe for these women? The Internet can be thought of as a healthy space for women to express their sexuality but for those who are insecure about their physical attractiveness and seek the Internet for fantasy sexual activity and relationships, the Internet can quite damage their psychological and emotional health. As a woman, it is important to have a healthy relationship with our partners as opposed to those we have online. Physical touch and physical bonding, such as noticing, attraction, touching, creating intimacy, and commitment (Carnes et al., 2001) are some of the things that the Internet hinders us from experiencing. On the other hand, those who have no problem with their self-confidence off the fantasy world of the Internet will more likely engage in casual sex. In this case, cybersex is the perfect way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, and that I might say, may be the only beauty of sex in cyberspace.

No Second Life for me, thank you.

I had, at a point of time, been really addicted to Sims. Engaging in this virtual game took up a lot of my time that by the end of the day, I realized that I had not done anything that would be considered productive at all. Assignments were put aside, daily cooked meals were replaced with instant noodles and microwavable leftovers, and don’t get me started on my social life.

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Similarly, Second Life is also a virtual world, a place on the Internet where people create their own avatars and spend hours socializing. But unlike Sims, Second Life is not just a game. It’s an online community where the avatars that you socialize with are real people just like us. Users are allowed to customize their own avatars, choosing between male or female, selecting a body type, facial features, hairstyle, as well as the clothes they wear. And again, unlike Sims, users are allowed to fly, teleport from one place to another, participate in individual or group activities, and even start virtual businesses.

We can now argue that Second Life can be considered as a part of our real lives. As quoted by Mark Stephen Meadows, “Shared experiences create a sense of reality… People in virtual worlds build things, use them, sell them, trade them and discuss them. When another person confirms what I am seeing, places value on it,spends time working to pay for it, buys it, keeps it, uses it, talks about it, gets emotional about it, and then sells it – this tells me there is something real happening. The suspension of disbelief has become a grounding of belief.”

There is a thin boundary between Second Life and real life when users begin to live on their online experiences. Since users are able to customize their avatars from the shape of the body, down to little details like the chisel of the cheekbones, they will more likely create an avatar that may have a representation of their real selves or how they imagine themselves to be. Respectively, users may feel emotionally attached to their virtual identities.

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These boundaries become almost untraceable when users find that they can do almost anything in Second Life that they can do in real life! Build intimate relationships, watch movies, go to clubs, shop for books. In fact, many people are making part or all of their income through businesses in Second Life and we can now say that the Linden dollars can be considered just as worthy as any other foreign currency.

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In a hypothetical situation, woman meets man in Second Life. Woman and man, then fall in love and decidingly, gets married in real life and in Second Life. A few months later, woman finds man cheating on her in Second Life, gets really upset and divorces him. How serious can a relationship get when it is based on their virtual lives? This situation, just as any other sales trade in Second Life, proves that there is a real interaction going on and suddenly the world of make-belief, isn’t that “make-belief” after all.

As for me, I am completely aware of how easily influenced I get when it comes to virtual reality. No way will I ever want to be 'lost' in that world again. As a human, I feel that physical interaction is an essential need for our everyday lives and maybe,just maybe, the future might be based on an improved version of Second Life. Until then, I will live my life just the way it is, thank you.

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Don't Hate other Races, Hate the Extremists

So I was on Facebook a couple of months ago when I was invited to join a group called, "If we are more than 1,000,000, then the group "f*** Islam" must be deleted". Curious about the "f*** Islam" group, I searched for it online and found that it did exist. It is unbelievable how these hate groups are formed, and absurd to see the negative comments written by the people in these pages. Since the event of 9/11 in 2001, and the more recent London Bombings July 7, 2005, Islam has been stereotyped as terrorists all over the world. Now, no matter who you are, whether a student or even a tourist on holiday, if you are a Muslim, people would label you as a terrorist.

Islam4UK is a web-based organisation that describes itself as "a platform" for the extremist group Al Muhajiroun that does give a negative image for all Muslims. Islam4UK is an important part of the story of Islamist anger and the line between politics, protest and national security. The organisation, originally formed by Omar Bakri Mohammed is made up of a small band of young men who advocate a worldwide Islamist system of government and, at the same time, vehemently denounce the foreign policies of the US and UK. (Casciani, D, 2010) This site has been closed down and is banned in Britain, but it demonstrates how extremists utilise the Internet to spread their message.

Extremists, is a term that refers to the propagation of extreme views, advocating the use of violence in promoting political, religious, or social causes. (Darlington, R, 2007) Such views would encompass political fascism, skinhead fascism, white power, white supremacy, militia groups, race hate, anti-Semitism, Holocaust denial, world conspiracy, religious cults, Islamist militancy, virulent anti-homosexuality, pro-anorexia/bulimia, virulent anti-abortionism, violent propagation of animal rights, sports hooliganism, violent political activism, bomb making information, and suicide assistance. A majority of extremist sites contain external links to other extremist sites, and also includes multimedia content, racist symbols, racism and hatred, and material from supremacist literature. (Gerstenfeld, P.B, 2003) Although, not many of these sites may urge violence, this shows that the Internet may be an especially powerful tool for extremists as a means of reaching an international audience, recruiting members, linking diverse extremist groups, and allowing maximum image control.

Australian First Party (AFP) may not appear to be as agressive as the other extemists mentioned above, but it does bear similar characteristics with them. They aim to ensure Australia's full independence and at the same time, are against multiculturism and immigrants. Furthermore, they have utilised the Internet to present their conceptions and to get other people to join this party, forgetting the fact that Australia's heritage does not belong to one individual, group or faith. Australia is a land of many cultures and apart from the Indigenous Australian, many of them can trace their roots to somewhere else. Every Australian, whether born or even migrated here, have equal rights and responsibilities.

In my opinion, we shouldn't hate other races and religions. In fact, we should hate the extremists and ban other sites for promoting hatred towards religion and race. We should maybe; even form our own hate group against these extremists. What do you think?